Post by absolutpixy on Aug 23, 2009 6:10:04 GMT -5
In my spare time, I pass the minutes slaving for The Man in the Hotel Industry. AT LEAST once a week I come up with a few tips for things to remember when checking in, checking out, or just generally being inside a hotel.
I figured I'd give you guys something to laugh at a few days a week.
- Do not come to check out in the morning and unpack your bags at my front desk because you forgot where you put your car keys. Please learn how to be responsible and find your keys before you pack all your crap. Believe it or not, I have a job to do and standing around watching you find a better place for your beach towel is not it.
- If you make a reservation at THIS hotel, it does not mean that your reservation will be honored at another hotel of the same name in a different state. Every Holiday Inn in the country isn’t going to hold a room for you in the hopes that you might choose them to stay with that night. You are not that special. Similarly, just because the hotel of the same name in a different state has a lower rate than we do, it does not mean that we will honor their rate. That is THEIR rate. This is OUR rate. Do not expect to receive a room at the Days Inn beach resort for 29.99 a night because you saw a Days Inn back in B.F.E that resembled something from the movie Deliverance. This is not Walmart, we do not match prices.
- I cannot pull a parking space out of I disagree. When the nice men laid the asphalt in the parking lot, they only painted in a certain number of spaces. Then this crazy thing happened. The paint dried. If you got the last room in the hotel shortly before midnight, don't complain to me because you can't find a place to park. It's not my fault you can't think in a straight line and your family has turned into a pack of walking zombies from exhaustion because you were too much of a dumb-ass to pull off the Interstate 3 hours back when there were still rooms (and parking spaces) available.
On that same note, I also cannot change the layout of the parking lot for you because your husband isn't very skilled at maneuvering the trailer that you talked him into bringing along on your trip through the South. Please do not waltz into my lobby like the Queen of Sheba, wagging your finger at me and informing me that I'm going to have to do something about that "horrible" parking lot design.
a) They built it before I got here, I had nothing to do with it, stop yelling at me.
b) This is south Atlanta. There isn't an extra inch of space in the city to just redesign a parking lot on a whim.
c) It's your own fault that you can't drive a car in reverse.
- I have to ask for your I.D. It's my job. Personally, I couldn't give a rat's ass who you are or where you live. But I can't afford to lose my job because you're only 17 years old and you decided it would be fun to steal the curtains off the wall and p*ss on the carpet in the corner, your credit card conveniently declined for incidentals, and I didn't get your name and address because I chose not to follow procedure and ask for your identification.
TCB and CYA. Great rules to live by.
These tips are designed to make your stay at the hotel of your choice as easy and problem-free as possible. Don't forget, the front desk staff are people too, and sometimes they make mistakes. Doesn't everyone? I can promise, however, that if you treat them as if they rated higher on the evolutionary scale than a mollusk, they will go above and beyond to accommodate your needs.
I figured I'd give you guys something to laugh at a few days a week.
- Do not come to check out in the morning and unpack your bags at my front desk because you forgot where you put your car keys. Please learn how to be responsible and find your keys before you pack all your crap. Believe it or not, I have a job to do and standing around watching you find a better place for your beach towel is not it.
- If you make a reservation at THIS hotel, it does not mean that your reservation will be honored at another hotel of the same name in a different state. Every Holiday Inn in the country isn’t going to hold a room for you in the hopes that you might choose them to stay with that night. You are not that special. Similarly, just because the hotel of the same name in a different state has a lower rate than we do, it does not mean that we will honor their rate. That is THEIR rate. This is OUR rate. Do not expect to receive a room at the Days Inn beach resort for 29.99 a night because you saw a Days Inn back in B.F.E that resembled something from the movie Deliverance. This is not Walmart, we do not match prices.
- I cannot pull a parking space out of I disagree. When the nice men laid the asphalt in the parking lot, they only painted in a certain number of spaces. Then this crazy thing happened. The paint dried. If you got the last room in the hotel shortly before midnight, don't complain to me because you can't find a place to park. It's not my fault you can't think in a straight line and your family has turned into a pack of walking zombies from exhaustion because you were too much of a dumb-ass to pull off the Interstate 3 hours back when there were still rooms (and parking spaces) available.
On that same note, I also cannot change the layout of the parking lot for you because your husband isn't very skilled at maneuvering the trailer that you talked him into bringing along on your trip through the South. Please do not waltz into my lobby like the Queen of Sheba, wagging your finger at me and informing me that I'm going to have to do something about that "horrible" parking lot design.
a) They built it before I got here, I had nothing to do with it, stop yelling at me.
b) This is south Atlanta. There isn't an extra inch of space in the city to just redesign a parking lot on a whim.
c) It's your own fault that you can't drive a car in reverse.
- I have to ask for your I.D. It's my job. Personally, I couldn't give a rat's ass who you are or where you live. But I can't afford to lose my job because you're only 17 years old and you decided it would be fun to steal the curtains off the wall and p*ss on the carpet in the corner, your credit card conveniently declined for incidentals, and I didn't get your name and address because I chose not to follow procedure and ask for your identification.
TCB and CYA. Great rules to live by.
These tips are designed to make your stay at the hotel of your choice as easy and problem-free as possible. Don't forget, the front desk staff are people too, and sometimes they make mistakes. Doesn't everyone? I can promise, however, that if you treat them as if they rated higher on the evolutionary scale than a mollusk, they will go above and beyond to accommodate your needs.